How I embraced the Art of Showing up..

For a long time, I struggled with my introverted, shy nature, often feeling misunderstood by those around me.

People sometimes saw me as proud or aloof, assuming I was disinterested or distant, when in reality, I was simply a bit different. I wasn’t the loudest in the room or the one who could fill every silence with conversation.

I felt socially awkward in large gatherings and struggled with the “small talk” that others seemed to handle effortlessly.

In work settings, I thrived. I was comfortable in my professional roles, navigating meetings, communicating with clients & business users, and advocating for business needs.

But when it came to personal settings—social events, family gatherings, or even meeting new friends—I often found myself at a loss. What would I say? How would I keep a conversation going? These thoughts would spiral, and sometimes, it was easier to avoid the situation entirely.

Yet I slowly realized something: by letting my social anxiety control me, I was missing out on meaningful moments with my loved ones. Family celebrations, friends’ important milestones, times that were precious and wouldn’t come again. It became clear that my fears were keeping me from being fully present in life, and that’s not how I wanted to live.

So what did I DO? A few ideas that helped me..

Learning to Show Up as I Am

I began by accepting that I didn’t have to become a different person to grow.

Growth doesn’t mean changing who you are at your core; it means learning to navigate life in a way that allows you to experience it fully. I realized I could show up as my quiet, sometimes awkward, introverted self, and that would be enough.

I started small. I decided that at each family gathering, I would approach people with basic but genuine questions: “How have you been?” “What’s new in your life?” “How’s your health?” I wanted them to know that I cared, even if I wasn’t the one steering every conversation. Instead of holding my phone to fill the silences, I learned to sit comfortably with the quiet, knowing that my presence was what mattered most.

Slowly, these events felt less intimidating. I realized I could attend without being the life of the party, without masking my quiet nature. I could be there as a listener, as someone who genuinely cared about the happiness of my loved ones.

Choosing Connection Over Comfort

Choosing to engage despite my anxiety has been challenging but deeply rewarding. In the past, I would avoid anything that made me feel uncomfortable. Now, I try to remember that this discomfort is temporary, but the connections I build will last. I’ve come to see these moments not as something to endure but as experiences to embrace, even if that means feeling a little awkward.

One quote has stayed with me throughout this journey: “You have two lives, and the second begins when you realize you only have one.”

I keep coming back to this idea. It reminds me that time is precious, and these moments with the people I care about are fleeting. Each gathering, each celebration is a chance to connect, to share in the happiness of others, and to be present in a way that my past self would have avoided.

Embracing My Authentic Self

Today, I still enjoy my solitude, my close-knit group of friends, and my quiet moments of reflection. I still find small talk tiring, and I’m not the loudest person in the room. But I’ve learned to embrace who I am and to participate in life on my own terms. I no longer worry about being judged for my quiet nature, and I no longer feel the need to hide behind my social anxiety.

This journey isn’t about changing myself; it’s about expanding my world. It’s about finding the courage to be present in my own way, to show up for the people who matter, and to live a life that’s true to who I am.

If you’re someone who feels misunderstood, who prefers quiet to chaos, or who finds social settings a bit overwhelming, know that growth doesn’t require you to change who you are. It’s okay to be the quiet one, the listener, the person who doesn’t fit the mold. Embrace your differences, find your balance, and show up in the ways that feel right to you. The world needs people like us, too.

After all, the beauty of life lies in its moments, and I’m learning to be part of them—even if it’s one quiet step at a time.

If you want to talk to someone, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Vedita